these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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