so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
