He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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