i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
