what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
