That's when you crack a 10am beer
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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