We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
