He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
