y did u give ur computer a hand job?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
