you guys were way drunker than both of me
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Randomize
