it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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