We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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