Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
