I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize