Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize
