i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
