shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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