I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
