Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
