I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize