youre lurking in front of me
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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