My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Houston, we have a squirter
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
