I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
