I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
