Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
