no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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