Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
