I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
