he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There's always time for handjobs
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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