: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
