Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
