just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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