you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
