I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
vagina is talking i cant
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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