She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
