she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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