If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize