I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
