So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
