Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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