I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
