I think i peed on brittanys purse
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
