Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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