i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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