For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
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I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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