You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
