I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
