we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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