Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
