It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
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i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
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My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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