I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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