is wine microwaveable?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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