i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Banned from zoo.
Again?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
