i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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