Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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