What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
