I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
