Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
