after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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