Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
