i already hear my dad disowning me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
