come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
