Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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