he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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