dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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