so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
