If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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