My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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