Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
vagina is talking i cant
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
